


13x03 Coda: Connections

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Emotional Hurt, Grieving Dean, Hope, Jack's power, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Past Abuse, Profound Bond, Season/Series 13, The Empty, Visions, brothers fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 19:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12539944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: The fight between Sam and Dean continues after episode 13x03 and Dean gets a lot out that needs to be said.





	13x03 Coda: Connections

“Emma.”

 

Sam startled. “What?”

 

“Emma,” Dean seethed again. His chest was huffing and his words came out in a growl. “You didn’t hesitate for a second. You shot her right in front of me. My own flesh and blood. You killed my daughter because you said she was never really mine. That she was a monster and nothing I could do would change that. You killed her before she killed anybody. So don’t stand there and give me any more of your hypocritical bullshit.”

 

“You’re acting like Dad. Just because Jack has yellow eyes doesn’t make him Azazel.”

 

Oh. That...was...it. If Sam thought Dean snapped before he was sadly mistaken. “No, Sammy.  _ You _ are. You’re dumping a kid in my lap and expecting me to just take care of him, watch out for him, while  _ you _ go on some holy grail quest for mom. You’re trying to make Jack into something  _ you _ want. Well you know what? I’m sick of it. I lost the only person who ever  _ chose _ to love me for me and not what they wanted from me.”

 

Dean paced. Everything was bubbling and boiling to the surface. “John wanted a babysitter and he got it. He wanted a hunter. He got it. He wanted a punching bag…” Dean’s voice broke. “You wanted a hero, I gave you one. Lisa...barbecues, baseball, and backrubs. But who ever looked at me like the sun shines out of my ass? Cas did.”

 

The tears were flowing freely. His nose was running. Spit flew when he talked. “Every time I lose somebody I gotta keep going after the bad guy. Mom died? Azazel. Dad died? Same thing. Bobby? Get Dick. Kevin? Get Gadreel. Charlie? Get the Steins. You see a pattern here? Cas is dead and I gotta get the bad guy. So excuse the fuck out of me for doing what I’ve been conditioned to do my whole goddamn life.”

 

Sam was reeling. Everything he thought he knew about his brother crumbled. He’d been accusing Dean of being emotionally constipated for as long as he could remember. He never realized he’d been programmed to be that way by their father. He’d suspected abuse but Dean never admitted it. 

 

“You know, there was one other person who liked me for me. Sonny. Believed in me. Let me be some stupid teenage kid that made a mistake and didn’t smack me around for it. That night when Dad came to pick me up and I saw you playing in the backseat...I was scared, Sam. Terrified he would start in on you if I wasn’t around. My whole life has been about everyone else. I think I deserve to be a little selfish right now.”

 

“You’re right. And I’m sorry. You need to grieve and process this. You just put your head down and went to work…”

 

“You should know better than anybody what the quiet does to you. The memories, regrets, nightmares...It’s either that or you put me on the next pyre.”

 

“I don’t want to lose you, Dean.”

 

“I think I’m already gone, Sam.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Sam pleaded. He could see how defeated his brother was. For the first time he truly believed Dean could mourn himself to death.

 

“I found him.” The brothers sharply turned toward Jack’s voice.

 

“What? Who?” Sam asked. 

 

“My Father, Castiel. Dean was in so much distress. You said my powers are connected to emotion. It’s not just  _ my _ emotions. I called out for him. Their connection, it’s still there. I can feel it now. It’s so strong. He’s...somewhere, somewhere dark.”

 

Dean cleaned himself up. “Don’t fuck with me, Kid. So you heard mommy and daddy fighting and you thought you’d bust it up. You ain’t the first kid to try that.

 

“Take my hand, Dean. I can show you.” Jack held his out.

 

“Uh-uh. I already know you can brainwash people.”

 

“Dean, just give him a chance.” Sam tried to reason with him.

 

Jack took his hand tight without permission. His eyes lit up gold. “Castiel?” Dean was struck with a jolt as the vision of Cas alone in the dark entered his mind. Emotions flooded. He felt the pull in his chest. His left shoulder burned where his scar used to be.

 

“Cas?”

 

Dean thought he heard the faint whisper of his name called back to him. He swayed on his feet but Sam caught him and Jack helped ease him down. 

 

“Dean? Did you see him? Do you know where he is?” Sam patted his face to keep him from passing out.

 

“The Empty, Sam. He’s in the Empty.”

 

“Jack, can you bring him back?”

 

“I...I don’t know, Sam. Maybe. It may take time and I will need Dean’s help.”

 

Dean shook his head clear. His arm still hurt. He shed his outer shirt and rolled up his sleeve. It was back. The bright red handprint scar was back.

 

“Dean…” Sam’s fingers hovered over it.

 

“He heard me, Sam.”

 

“Amara.”

 

“What?”

 

“Cas told me she used your connection to him to get to you, when he was possessed. She was jealous of it. It was stronger than hers. Dean, you can get him back.”

  
“Then let’s get to work.”


End file.
